An Untold Dream Fulfilled

I can recall, as a child, yearning for the love, affection, mentoring, coaching, and playfulness of having a father.

I can recall yearning to run to my father for advice, only a father could give, and to ask only him.

I can recall yearning to be carried on my father’s shoulders as he ran around with me.

I can recall yearning for my father’s strong hugs from his big, strong arms.

I can recall yearning for my father to love my Mom as much as I loved her.

I can recall looking out the window, yearning for Dad to pull into the yard again.

I can recall yearning for my Dad to make breakfast with me sitting on the counter again.

I can recall yearning to hand my dad the tools he needed to fix the cars he often worked on while I played in the yard.

I can recall needing my Dad’s advice.

I can recall crying as an adult because Dad didn’t leave me a note, letter, or some sort of guide to help me on my journey.

So much I can recall. So much pain and sorrow.

And then, I see the life I’ve lived and the one I am living.

If my father could dream a dream, I would say he would dream to give me everything I yearned for above and to do the same for my siblings.

The life I’ve lived, I’ve fulfilled his untold dream. I have been able to give my boys every little thing Dad wasn’t able to give me.

Not only did I fulfill his dream, but I also healed my broken heart by giving that little boy that was me, who has turned into my children, everything I yearned for.

I treat each of my children the way I would’ve wanted to be treated and loved at their age. They’ve all enabled me to mend my heart and forgive myself at every stage of life thus far.

Furthermore, I alone didn’t fulfill my Dad’s untold dream; so did my sister and brother, who both have lived for their offspring and showed them all the love and passion that Dad would dream of giving them if given a chance.

If I died this instant and was able to be granted only one dream, it would be to love my children and have them feel the forgiveness forever that only a parent can give.