WHEN AND HOW TO CHANGE

There comes a time in every person’s life—certainly in a man’s life—when they reach a breaking point—a moment when the status quo is no longer sustainable. When something has to change—and change drastically, it’s in that moment of reckoning that we face ourselves, realizing we are losing the battle and heading down a path we do not want to travel.

I remember, as a young man, being given advice—being told to change—but none of it mattered. The only thing that truly made a difference was hitting rock bottom, reaching the point where I could see no way but up. I was tired of being tired. That was when transformation began—not because someone told me to, but because I decided I’d had enough.

Most people have experienced this turning point, whether in the context of a total life overhaul or a specific change, such as starting a diet, quitting smoking, or giving up drinking. Take smoking, for example. People can bombard you with science about its dangers, shame you for the smell, and show you loved ones suffering from its consequences. But none of that will make you quit until you decide you’re done being a smoker.

This isn’t just about smoking or drinking—it’s about becoming the best version of yourself. It’s about fighting for the life you want. About success, renewal, and reinvention. It’s about starting now—and refusing to wait any longer.

I’ll admit I have no central vices today, but I am deeply addicted to one thing: chasing the best version of myself. I know I’ll never fully catch him, but the pursuit is invaluable. I’m also addicted to cultivating great habits. My daily goals—although not always achieved—include reading, writing, reflecting, and consuming positive content, such as audiobooks or podcasts. And perhaps my favorite addiction is being a quitter—not in the traditional sense, but in the sense of letting go of what no longer serves me.

I don’t always know what I’ll quit next, but I know I will. Life has taught me that sometimes, progress comes from removing the wrong things rather than finding the perfect solution. Like when I used to take tests, if I couldn’t figure out the correct answer, I’d eliminate the wrong ones. In the same way, I’ve learned to quit negative habits to make room for growth.

Over the years, I’ve quit countless things: negative self-talk, snoozing the alarm repeatedly, starting my mornings with negativity, smoking, vaping, drinking, harboring anger, resentment, guilt, and hate. Each time I let go of one of these, I moved closer to my best self.

It’s like a plate of food that’s been over-salted. Adding more sugar or spices won’t fix it. Instead, you scrape off the excess and simplify the dish—getting closer to its best version. Similarly, when life feels overwhelming, we don’t always need to add more—we need to remove what’s holding us back.

Sometimes, the mountain ahead seems insurmountable, and the right path feels unclear. In those moments, I’ve found it easier to start clearing away the wrong paths—carving out a trail that might one day lead to the summit.

In conclusion, while timing and planning are essential, execution is everything. The best time to start is now. Don’t wait for perfect conditions or perfect clarity. Begin by eliminating what you know is wrong. You may not know precisely what the right thing to do is, but you certainly know what to stop doing. Start there. Quit what no longer serves you, and you’ll be one step closer to the best version of yourself.

It is often easier to identify flaws and areas for improvement in others than to look inward and recognize our own. However, proper growth and transformation require the courage and integrity to be honest with ourselves—and to address the aspects of our character that need improvement.

Acknowledging these areas is only the first step. Recognizing an opportunity for improvement does not necessarily mean we know how to resolve it or create an effective plan. Fortunately, with genuine contemplation and self-reflection, we can often trace the root cause of an issue and begin to work toward a solution. For those aspects where a resolution is not immediately clear, simply starting the process of thoughtful consideration plants a seed of understanding. Over time, with continued reflection and persistence, clarity and solutions are likely to emerge.

In rare cases, even after thorough contemplation, honesty, and effort, some issues may remain unresolved. These challenges test our commitment and resilience. Yet, the willingness to face them—and the persistence to try—is one of the secrets to success that is often overlooked because it demands deep effort and action.

Ultimately, the process of looking inward with sincerity and executing resolutions—though challenging—is far less painful than avoiding change and remaining stagnant. It is through this honest self-examination and effort that we truly evolve and grow.

https://a.co/d/f7mWFoB