Creating Connection with the Truest Self

There are many paths to rediscovering our truest self—our higher self, our best self. But among them, two stand out in their simplicity and profound impact: **to be intentional about creating connection**—and just as importantly, **to avoid creating disconnection.**

It begins with intention. Intention is the silent architect of inner reality. To live with intention is to gently but consistently shift our awareness inward. When we set the intention to connect—to genuinely connect—with our higher self, we begin to realign with the subtle frequency of truth, clarity, and presence that has always lived within us. It is not about *adding* something new to our lives, but rather about *uncovering* what has always been there.

One of the most powerful ways to create this connection is through the art of **focus.** What we choose to focus on determines what grows in our experience. In every moment, we are constantly shaping our inner and outer world by what we give our attention to.

What you focus on seeing, you see more of.

What you focus on hearing, you hear more of.

What you focus on feeling, you feel more of.

This is not spiritual fluff—it is rooted in the very design of the human mind. Psychologists refer to this phenomenon as the **Baader-Meinhof effect**, also known as **frequency illusion.** Imagine buying a car you’ve never really noticed before. Suddenly, it seems like that same model is everywhere. Did everyone buy that car at the same time you did? Of course not. What actually happened is this: your brain flagged it as significant, so now your subconscious brings it to your attention more often.

This is a profound lesson in how we shape our own experience of reality. That car didn’t multiply. Your perception of it did.

The same mechanism applies to all aspects of life. If you intentionally choose to see the goodness in others, you’ll begin to notice it more often. It will rise to the surface. If you decide to truly listen—not just to respond, but to learn—you open yourself to insight and wisdom you may have otherwise missed. If you wake up in the morning with a deep intention to feel blessed, you will begin to find blessings in the smallest and most unexpected moments.

This is why, if I had to choose just one word as the most important tool for transformation, it would be **focus.**

If we habitually focus on matters of the flesh—on fear, comparison, anger, validation—we slowly unravel the thread that ties us to our truest self. We create **disconnection.** But when we choose to focus on matters of the spirit—on presence, gratitude, clarity, kindness—we begin to stitch that thread back together. We create **connection.**

When someone says they are seeking to become more spiritual, what they are really seeking—at the root—is connection. Not with some external divine figure alone, but with the divine essence that dwells within. Spirituality, when practiced in its purest form, is a homecoming to the self.

Religion, at its best, can be a vehicle toward this homecoming. When it points us inward. When it encourages us to reflect, to pray, to meditate, to be still, and to listen to the whispering truths that echo in the chambers of the soul. When a teacher becomes a guide—not a master—and gently directs our gaze toward the inner landscape, then religion serves its highest purpose: **the cultivation of connection.**

But when religion turns its gaze outward—when it becomes more about hierarchy, dogma, and obedience to man-made constraints—it drifts dangerously far from its spiritual roots. In such moments, it ceases to be a tool for connection and becomes a mechanism of control. It becomes an institution rather than a path, a cage rather than a compass.

Whether something calls itself a religion, a philosophy, or a way of life matters far less than the **practice** it encourages. The label is irrelevant. The fruit it bears in your soul is what matters.

So ask yourself this: does this path, this practice, this belief—create connection? Or does it create disconnection?

Generally speaking, if a teacher, a sage, a guide, or a mystic encourages you to look inward—if they remind you that the answers are already within, and that you alone hold the key—then you are likely in wise company. True teachers do not claim authority over your spirit. They do not demand allegiance or obedience. Instead, they light a lamp, so that you might better see the path within yourself.

But beware of those who claim superiority, who assert that they alone possess truth, who impose laws and rules as if they were divine absolutes. These voices may not be leading you toward liberation, but rather deeper into the labyrinth of disconnection.

For the truest self—the divine spark within—does not respond to fear, guilt, or pressure. It responds to presence, to peace, to freedom. To love.

And so, return your focus again and again to the light within. To the higher voice that speaks in stillness. Let your focus be your prayer. Let your intention be your compass. And let connection—not perfection—be your truest pursuit.