Father,
I come to You with a tension I have never quite resolved.
You tell me to ask and I will receive.
You tell me to pray for the sick.
You tell me to knock and the door will be opened.
Yet You also speak of Your will.
And I do not always know how those two truths live together.
Lord, when I pray for a promotion,
am I to rise from my knees and simply wait?
Or am I to work with excellence,
to prepare, to ask, to position myself as the obvious choice?
Where does trust end and effort begin?
When I pray for healing,
do I declare it finished and never ask again?
Or do I keep knocking?
And if healing does not come,
was it my lack of faith
or Your deeper will?
I do not want to manipulate outcomes in Your name.
But I also do not want to hide passivity behind the phrase
“Let go and let God.”
If You have given me wisdom, strength, skill, and love,
are these not also instruments of Your will?
When I pray for my marriage, Father,
do I sit back and wait for You to change her heart?
Or do I repent of my failures,
forgive her shortcomings,
love her patiently,
and fight for us with the love You have shown me?
Show me the balance.
Teach me the difference between surrender and laziness.
Teach me the difference between striving and faith.
When is the answer no?
When is it wait?
When is it move?
How do I recognize Your will
when it does not match the ending I imagined?
If what ultimately happens is within Your sovereignty,
then help me trust that even closed doors
are answers.
Help me to pray boldly
and work faithfully.
To ask persistently
and surrender honestly.
If I am to act, make it clear.
If I am to be still, make that clear too.
Above all, guard my heart
from believing that outcomes define Your goodness.
Align my desires with Yours.
Let my effort be obedience, not control.
Let my surrender be trust, not fear.
I do not want my will done in religious language.
I want Yours.
Teach me how to pray.
Teach me how to act.
Teach me how to trust.
Amen.
Jimmy Perez 
It seems to me that you already know the answer to your own question.
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I may have the right contemplations and the right prayer, but I don’t always have the right answer to the balance
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That’s why we search God’s Word. The answers are all written on its pages. Inspired by God Himself, it’s like having him right with us. Life teaches us how to manage things – how to overcome obstacles – move forward and much more, but relying on God to give us the balance, leads us to our eternal home with Him. I’m still learning and I’m almost 84 years old. It’s a journey.
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Thank you for your words. I do believe his answers are in his words. The issue is more my own discernment. My own understanding and for this I ask wisdom I as direction. But my little human mind sometimes wrestles with his words and direction. But in the end I have faith in him not in me
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