Anger and answered meditations

I admit, I’ve come a long way in my maturity through my journey. One of the proudest elements that I’ve evolved from has been my anger. I carried a scary rage for anger for a long time. Being expelled from multiple schools, and constantly getting in trouble over my anger as a youth was something I never thought I would get under control.

In my later years I still struggle with some residual traces of anger which I’m not ok with still carrying around at my age. I consider anger very ignorant. With that said, I think all emotions have their purpose. What that purpose is, I’m not certain of. Nevertheless, I feel that if we innately have emotions such as anger, then I have to assume they serve a purpose for our human experience.

As a youngster, I allowed emotions to run my life and I acted accordingly. One of the things I still don’t understand is the purpose of anger. What do we get out of anger? I see the benefits of pain, fear, worry to some extent, but anger? Nope, I just don’t get it. The only thing I can think of is that it is all part of the human experience. I believe emotions as a youngster help you evolve in a more passionate person. But as an adult, I don’t think emotions such as anger serve you any longer.

For a long time I’ve rejoiced in my growth, my maturity, and my evolution. Yet, I can’t ignore this feeling that stirs within me like PTSD being triggered that results in instant anger. I may not act on it but I feel it. I say PTSD because I can’t readily describe it any other way. Although I’ve seen and went through some gruesome events in my journey I have never served in order to claim any real PTSD. 

Ask and you shall receive. Meditate and pray and if you have ears to listen, the answer will be revealed to you. As of lately I’ve been pondering more and more on why I still carry anger in a way I feel I can’t get rid of it. Strangely enough, I’ve been getting clarity from different aspects of my life pointing towards the resolution of anger. I’ve used the PTSD analogy for a long time even though I’ve never served or been in such battles to justify me feeling that way. Not long ago I was reading The Celestine Vision where one of the many studies discussed is about phycologists going to the root cause of people’s issues in order to cure them of certain physiological diseases. One study was done only on folks who had clear, and proven memories of a past life. Thanks to our technology now these memories once believed insane can be pinpointed and proven true of folks who may have lived many years prior in far away countries. Psychologists began to treat these folks’ traumas from their past lives with success. We all know that most trauma can be found somewhere deep within our past. Well this goes so far into our past that it goes to a possible past reincarnation. I know it’s crazy right? Nevertheless, interesting if it is actually real.

No matter what, one thing remains true, anger is an issue as a mature adult. I truly believe that anger helps us mould as children as most other emotions do too. But at some point we need to heed Corinthians 13 and love ourselves by leaving the ways of childhood behind. So now what? How to do this.

Since I’ve been pondering this anger thing lately I’ve paid attention to the messages around me and many there are. Tony Robbins said in an interview the other day that, “we don’t experience life, we experience what we focus on.” I can see that, so if I focus on anger, that’s what I’m going to experience. But in the same token, if I focus on a solution or on the wisdom of the anger issue, I can experience some answers. Listening to Tony Robbins on my run a couple days ago made me feel like I was getting more understanding on the subject.

As I drove around a couple days ago and I listened to an audiobook by J Krishnamurti I heard him speaking about times in your life that you must become the observer and stop judging yourself. Observe what is really going on in your life and with no emotions and using only logic, figure out the best course of action to take to make the right decision at any given moment.

Last night after work I headed out for my normal run and I decided to listen to a podcast or an interview so I picked one at random and it’s an interview with a Shaolin master I admire Shi Heng Yi. The interview is all about mastering the mind in order to reach your true potential. This should be good, I thought. One of the first questions the interviewer asked was how do you rid yourself of negative inclinations such as anger when you are triggered. I felt he was speaking right to me. Shi says we need to watch our words because we can’t rid ourselves from emotions yet we can go beyond them. He goes on to say that when these negative emotions arise to go beyond, stand over yourself and look at the situation as if you were seeing a friend go through it. How would you advise your friend to proceed? 

Now follow that advice. We all know as good as our advice is most of the time, we are awful at following it ourselves. This is likely something we need to grow in, evolve, heed to. Start taking your own advice. I began to meditate on anger less than two weeks ago and without seeking the answers outside myself, the universe has conspired to help me in solving my problem. I can’t imagine receiving clearer answers than the above ones by four very different sources from different aspects of life, a motivational speaker, a non religious guru and a Monk/ Shaolin master.

In closing, I believe emotions serve us as children and they at times help us incline towards mercy, empathy, and love. I believe emotions are meant to be stronger while an adolescent because our logic is not fully developed. With that said, now as adults, our logic should be fully developed and must be stronger than our emotions in order not to act and reflect the ignorance and lack of maturity we displayed as children.

Nowadays, we often see ads on social media about something we just spoke about or searched on line. Ad agencies know the importance of staying with what you focus on in order to make a sale. Einstein at one time claimed he wasn’t smarter than anyone else, only that he stood with the problem longer and solely because of this he would succeed. In the 40’s a neuropsychologist named Donald Hebb coined the term, neurons that fire together, wire together. Since before biblical days it’s been said that if you ask, you shall receive. Do we need more proof? 

I truly believe we are creators within our own life’s. Evolution doesn’t have to be of nature’s act alone. As creators we are able to evolve on purpose and intentionally. Why wouldn’t you take advantage of this?

Now go! Go and evolve. Go recreate yourself in those areas where you still need to mature.