Sometimes we have elaborate excuses camouflaged as reasons for things going wrong. Maybe the project failed. Maybe your plan was ruined by unforeseen issues. Maybe finances haven’t been realized as you planned. Or whatever.
We are really good at pointing out where the fault came from. We have a keen eye for why things went wrong and who caused it. You know exactly whose to blame. But it is usually not you right?
In this beautiful journey I’ve learned that although it comes almost if not definitely natural to look around for the one or many to blame, I must find a mirror quickly and look into my eyes deeply and with conviction. Once I’m locked in, I ask myself, “is it you?”.
There’s a couple reasons I do this. One, because there’s a great possibility that it is my fault. Two, because if it is indeed my fault, I can fix it. The thing about it not being your fault is that we don’t necessarily or actually, control others. Nevertheless, we absolutely have control of where we go from here.
Now, that’s not to say that you have to be self defeating about the whole thing and go all “it’s always my fault!” It’s about being mature enough to take responsibility. One of my favorite self used mantras is reminding myself often that although this may not be my fault, it is for certain, my responsibility.
By attacking issues in this matter, we can move forward more effectively, efficiently, and we can create much needed progress.
We all have an ego and it gets defensive when it feels the hypothetical finger pushing at its chest. We just have to have the emotional intelligence to set our egos to the side, be humble and figure out what is the best possible move from here.
Sometimes the issue is in a family or a church, or at work. The ego has no place in such communities. Even if you see yourself as an alpha dog. At this point you are a counselor, a governor, and a caretaker trying to make the best decision for the whole community. Being driven by the ego only complicates things and pulls you ten steps back.
Sometimes it is absolutely not your fault. You are not the problem. But your community still needs to progress and as an active member who’s taken responsibility of the performance and growth of the community, it it your responsibility to create a plan of actions that leads us to progress.
Don’t ever be afraid to look in the mirror with conviction and ask the all important question, “Am I the problem here?”
It takes courage to do so.
It takes incredible humbleness to create a plan if you are indeed the problem.
It takes care and concern to make a decision driven by what is best for the community.
It takes nothing less than bravery to make the hard choices to move the community forward.
Stay in the fight and remember when you’re point at someone, 👉 three fingers are pointing at you.
Love y’all
Jimmy Perez 
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