Alphas

Growing up in Puerto Rico, I quickly learned that being an alpha male wasn’t just encouraged—it was expected. Until I was almost six years old, I experienced an extraordinary bond with my father, who embodied the traditional image of an alpha male. After his passing, my older brother, just 12 at the time, instinctively stepped into that role. For me, the path seemed clear: to follow suit and embrace the mantle of alpha malehood.

But did I really understand what being an alpha male meant? Not at all. Back then, I thought it was all about dominance—being aggressive, controlling, and emotionally detached. That perception shaped me until my education at Seoul University challenged everything I thought I knew.

In the animal kingdom, the alpha isn’t what popular culture might lead us to believe. Take a wolf pack, for example. The alpha doesn’t lead through brute force or cold authority. Instead, they lead from behind, ensuring no one is left behind. The true essence of alpha leadership lies in empathy—caring deeply for the well-being of the pack. This revelation forced me to reflect on my past. For years, I had used a “poor me” narrative to elicit sympathy and justify my own behavior. In doing so, I distanced myself from empathy, perceiving it as a weakness rather than the cornerstone of true leadership.

As a child, my definition of an alpha was simplistic and reactive—a mask I wore to avoid confronting my emotions. I thought an alpha was someone who bulldozed through life without looking back. But maturity has taught me that being an alpha means taking responsibility for others—whether it’s your team, your family, or your community. It’s about putting the needs of the group above your own and embracing care and concern as strengths, not flaws.

Even more importantly, I’ve learned that being an alpha isn’t confined to gender. An alpha is anyone who steps up to lead with responsibility, compassion, and selflessness. Leadership isn’t about dominance—it’s about service.

Etymologically, “alpha” originates from the Greek word for “beginning.” In nature, there is typically only one alpha per group. But as humans, with our capacity for growth and collaboration, we have the opportunity to redefine what it means to lead. True leadership isn’t about standing alone at the top; it’s about fostering a community of empowered individuals—creating a pack of alphas who uplift one another and amplify their collective strength.

If we know better, let’s do better.