The Relationships That Transform Us

If you are a Christian and you genuinely seek to follow the teachings of Jesus, there are two things that should become central to your life: transformation and service.

In fact, you could argue that they are two of the most important focuses a person can have.

Jesus did not simply call people to believe something. He called them to become someone. He taught us to love, forgive, serve, humble ourselves, show compassion, surrender our ego, and love even when it is difficult.

And transformation rarely happens in comfort.

It happens when our patience is tested.

It happens when our pride is challenged.

It happens when we are asked to forgive someone we do not want to forgive.

It happens when we encounter someone who thinks differently than we do.

It happens when loving someone requires us to move beyond what is convenient or comfortable.

This is where difficult relationships can become incredibly valuable.

If our goal is transformation, then the people who challenge us are not necessarily obstacles to our growth. Sometimes, they are the environment in which our growth takes place.

And if our goal is service, then perhaps we should stop asking only, “What is this person doing for me?” and begin asking, “How can I be of service to this person?”

That does not mean becoming someone’s doormat. It does not mean abandoning boundaries or tolerating abuse. Jesus demonstrated compassion, but He also walked away from people, confronted hypocrisy, and knew when not to engage.

Service is not self-destruction.

It is the willingness to use our lives to contribute something beyond ourselves.

Perhaps some of the people who frustrate us most are giving us an opportunity to practice exactly what we say we believe.

It is easy to say we are patient when nobody tests our patience.

It is easy to say we are forgiving when nobody has hurt us.

It is easy to say we love our neighbor when our neighbor is easy to love.

The real test comes when the person standing in front of us makes all of those virtues difficult.

That is where belief becomes practice.

That is where knowledge becomes transformation.

And that is where the person we thought was simply making our life harder may actually be giving us an opportunity to become more like the person Jesus taught us to be.