The Conversation I Wish Someone Had With Me at 16
Introducing my newest book, What I Wish Someone Told Me at 16
When I was six years old, my dad was killed. He was a police officer. One day he was there, and the next he was never coming home again.
Nobody really knew how to explain that to a six-year-old, so I watched the adults around me fall apart and tried to figure life out on my own. By the time I was a teenager, I was angry, fighting, getting kicked out of school and running with a crowd that was going nowhere good. People had a nickname for me, Rico, and Rico was headed for one of two places: a cell or a coffin.
I didn’t end up in either one. But I learned almost everything the hard way.
That’s why I wrote this book.
Why a book for teenagers?
I’ve spent years writing about ego, spirit, faith and purpose. But I kept coming back to one question: What if someone had told me the truth when I was 16?
Not a lecture. Not another adult wagging a finger. Just an honest conversation from someone who had been there.
I would have saved myself years of pain. I would have avoided some friendships that cost me dearly. I would have understood that the story I was telling myself, I was abandoned, everybody leaves, nobody really wants me, wasn’t the truth. It was just a story. And it was making my decisions for me.
What I Wish Someone Told Me at 16 is that conversation.
What’s inside
The book is built around twelve “golden nuggets,” the lessons I wish I’d had in my back pocket as a teenager. A few of them:
- Your story is not your sentence. Where you start doesn’t decide where you finish.
- You are not the main character in everyone’s movie. Most people around you are going through more than you can see.
- You become your circle. Choose friends who pull you up, not down.
- Anger and the wolf you feed. What to do with the fire inside you.
- Your phone is a slot machine. Use it without letting it use you.
- Your parents are broken too. Give grace to the people who raised you.
- Do hard stuff. I ran my first 0.22 miles at age 41. Today I run 44-mile ultramarathons.
- Talk to God like a friend. He’s closer than you think.
- You are a miracle. So don’t waste the one life you’ve been given.
Each chapter opens with a Bible verse and a real story, then ends with a simple “Try this” challenge and one nugget to remember. The chapters are short. A teen can read the whole book in a weekend, or one chapter a night.
The line that changed my life
If you only take one thing from this book, let it be this:
“It may not be my fault, but it is my responsibility.”
Some of what happened to you might be deeply unfair. I won’t pretend otherwise. But what happened to you is part of your story. It is not your sentence. You get to decide what the next chapter says.
I learned that at thirty. I want you to have it now.
Who this book is for
- Teenagers who are tired of being talked down to and want the real deal.
- Parents and grandparents looking for a way to start honest conversations.
- Youth leaders and pastors. There’s a “For Parents and Youth Leaders” section at the back with discussion questions for every chapter, so you can use it with your group.
It’s also available in Spanish: Lo que me hubiera gustado que me dijeran a los 16.
Get your copy
What I Wish Someone Told Me at 16 is available now on Amazon in paperback and Kindle.
If you know a teenager who needs to hear this, or you remember being one, grab a copy and pass it on. Sometimes one honest conversation is all it takes to change the direction of a life.
If I know better, I can do better. So can they.
— Jimmy Perez
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